Today I like: Rainy mornings that turn into sunny afternoons
Not so much: Homework
Today’s post is not about writing, or fairy tales, or gender dynamics. It’s not really about motherhood, although I guess it is about something that’s vital to moms. Well, not just moms, but all women. It’s…the girlfriend.
We all need them. I’ve been so, so blessed to have wonderful female friendships that have followed me through my life. I count my mother, my sister, and two of my cousins as my closest friends. I have a friend coming to visit me next weekend who I’ve know since we attended a single grade of school together at age eight. I have high school friends and college friends and friends I’ve made through my children’s school and my neighborhood. These relationships are vital to my health and my soul, and I hope I’ve reciprocated support and laughter to these amazing women over the years.
So when I moved back to Charleston, I was lucky enough to still have two of my very dearest, oldest girlfriends here in town. Freshman-year-in-college, lived-together-for-years kind of friends. We don’t live very close to each other, unfortunately, and get together when we can. I’m thrilled to be able to see them on a more regular basis, but I’m conscious that it will take work. When I left DC, I left behind not only my mother, but a few very close friends, and I my heart hurts missing them every day. Particularly my best friends from my neighborhood. We had an almost “college-like” relationship. Saw each other every day. Talked on the phone every day. Spent Friday and Saturday nights together nearly every weekend. Went on trips together. I recognize how rare it is for adult, balancing work and family, to have that everyday closeness. I feel like I’ve been cut loose, just a bit. Sort of like I’m “single” again.
So I’m here, now, in Charleston, and for the first time in years I’m on the prowl. On the prowl for girlfriends.
It’s not so different from dating. You head to a party, or the park, or a room parent meeting. A few moms turn up. You check them out. Hmmm, she looks pretty cool. Fun dress. Looks like she works out– maybe we have something in common? About my age…because I’m not trying to “date” too young or too old…maybe I should make a move?
So we chat…kids…work…where-y’all-from? She’s funny! Fascinating background…drinks good beer! I’m interested!
But maybe she’s not. Maybe she has a million friends and doesn’t need any more. Maybe I’m coming off as too blunt (I’ve been known to have that problem in the past.). Well, I’ve dropped the hint. Let’s see what happens.
Next day, I wonder…maybe I’ll shoot her an email and see if she wants to grab coffee? Hmmm…don’t want to be a pest but it’s worth it. That chick was too cool to pass up.
By the time I get around to looking up her email address it’s afternoon. Flip open my in-box. Oh, look, she emailed me first!
Yeah! Guess she wants to be friends. Let’s do coffee. It’s just a “first date,” but you never know. Maybe I’ve made a match.