Today I like: Vanilla wafers
Not so much: Minivan. I’m just over it.
I’m one of those people who falls in love with a song and plays it over and over again. It drives my kids nuts. “This song AGAIN, Mommy?” accompanied by much rolling of the eyes. I can’t help it. Even in the days of cassettes I’d play…rewind…play…rewind… I listened to Mister Jones somewhere in the realm of ten-thousand times in the winter of 1994.
I listen to a lot of rap and hip-hop, so sometimes my kids are spared the annoying repetition simply because the lyrics of my latest obsession are not fit for tender ears. And so it is this week, as I’ve found myself playing Lighters by Bad Meets Evil OVER and OVER and OVER. I don’t really care about the chorus (Bruno Mars) or the other guy who raps (some other random rapper). A few verses keep me coming back. The Eminem verses.
“Eminem!” you scream. “That misogynistic, sexist, crude homophobe? And you call yourself a liberal.”
So as I’m listening to the song I started to think: What is it about Eminem that makes me such a huge fan? Why am I willing to forgive his admittedly all-of-the-above?
I came to an interesting conclusion: because Eminem is like a really well-written character.
I can’t claim to be an expert on rap techniques, so I’ll just mention my admiration for his rhymes in passing (I think Shakespeare would toast someone who can rhyme “public housing systems” and “Munchausen Syndrome”). All that aside, here’s what I love about Eminem.
His wears his childhood baggage on his sleeve. He acknowledges his fame, even while he seems eternally surprised by it. He openly professes his love of Detroit. My husband grew up in Detroit, and I’ve visited many times, and let me tell you, that is a hard city to love. Yet he appreciates where he’s from and sticks around.
He’s brutally honest about his own struggles, with everything from parenting to drug abuse to romantic relationships. The song Love the Way You Lie caught a lot of flack last year. Some thought it justified or glorified domestic violence. I thought of it as a painfully open explanation of how he felt in the midst of the abusive relationship: guilty, disgusted with himself, hypocritical; yet unable to control his actions. Few men, or women for that matter, are so willing to hang their dirtiest laundry on the line.
His voice incites all kinds of response in me: anger, sadness, regret, frustration. One a more positive note, he makes me laugh and makes me want to keep fighting when I’m feeling discouraged. I’m Not Afraid was my Eminem pump-me-up of choice last winter, when I was in the midst of querying hell.
“Cause I’m raising the bar, I’ll shoot for the moon. I’m too busy gazin’ at stars I feel amazin’ and I’m not afraid…”
Never failed to cheer me up.
So now we have the good, and here’s the bad. At times I do cringe. The song Stan, while thought-provoking, makes me uncomfortable, and I can’t even listen to Kim. Some of the others are just general hip-hop woman-bashing and silly bravado. Tiresome and (IMHO) below his talents. His life has, at times, been like one of those reality TV shows you watch just to make yourself feel better about your own problems. Arrests, drugs, fights with boy bands and sock puppets. And Moby. Why pick on him, Eminem? You’re one of the bestselling artists of all time. He’s just a bald guy trying to get along in a world that’s long since forgotten South Side.
In the end, yes, Eminem can be sexist, misogynistic and homophobic. He’s got some serious issues. But I forgive him, because he’s immensely talented. He makes me feel something in a time where popular music is often lacking in emotional depth. I admire his tenacity and success, and yet I still see something sort of sad and vulnerable in his face.
And that’s why Eminem is, to me, like a perfectly drawn, wonderfully imperfect story character. The guy I know I should hate, but I like him anyway. In the world of hip-hop, where personalities come and go in the span of a hit or two, Eminem has been on top for over a decade. A lesson for writers: enduring characters are complex. Emotional. And maybe most importantly, flawed.
Yes. Yes. And Yes.
He is fearless.
Great post.
You know it.
You’re so right! I want to hate him but there’s something intoxicating about his music and yes–his character.
So we’re all Eminem fans– coming out of the closet.
Not an Eminem fan but I can see his draw: as you say enduring characters are complex. And much emotional depth.
What a beautiful post. Totally understand about your feelings toward Eminem. I have my own post coming sometime soon on this subject, but to me, Eminem is the epitome of why we like the bad boy. It’s NOT just because the bad boy drives a motorcycle and looks great in tight clothing… it’s because somehow, inside, he’s broken. There’s a draw to help and to heal. I mean, to make the bad boy somehow NEED you in return… there is passion in that.
My take.
Hey Julia! There’s still time for you to become an Eminem fan.
Jen– love your take on bad boys. And I agree. The attraction is in the desire to help, heal, fix. To be the one person he can finally connect with. My husband is a former “difficult” boy. (Would not go so far as to say “bad” but definitely a challenge! Lots of brooding, world traveling and motorcycles involved.) I definitely remember that feeling of wanting to be the person to reform him. Let’s hope I succeeded in some way.
confession: HUGE Eminem fan!!! I’m not drawn to his persona, but his music… oh man!! It’s very hard for me to turn off his music when the kids are in the backseat, but d*mn. I still censor it. Not ready for them to listem. But when they aren’t there, and it’s just me… rap on! My husband hates him. My daughter adores Taylor Swift… and this is what came to mind as it all meshed together in my head: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLWpyRAaybU
Oh that is hilarious! Wow, Taylor is really white LOL. But have to give her credit for having the nerve to sing that song in Michigan of all places!
I agree, kids not ready for Eminem, even with the really bad parts bleeped out. My husband is actually a fan nowadays. He and Mister Mathers are from the same town. First rap I could get him to listen to!
I used to couldn’t stand Eminem. Then one night hubbie brought home the movie 8 Mile. I didn’t even want to watch it at first. But I was sucked in within the first five minutes. I’ve heard it’s fashioned off of his life and how he finally got over his stage fright and broke into rapping. It’s an amazing and inspirational story. You’ve probably already watched it, but just in case, here’a link to the trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rh7yRDezUS8&feature=related. Anyway, one of the things I like about his rapping is that it’s almost musical. And the lyrics are always multi-dimensional and deep.
I think this may be one of my favorite posts you’ve written yet, Stephanie. The parallel and comparison of real-life Eminem to fictional flawed characters is brilliant! And I agree – this is why we love flawed characters — they offer depth, make us think, take us to uncomfortable places we might not want to go … they make us feel, show us vulnerability (and in some ways say, “It’s ok to screw up.”)! I wouldn’t have pegged you as a rap and hip-hop fan, but I’m diggin’ it. Shows your depth! And, hey, I may just want to try it out myself (for, sadly, I am stuck in a 70s disco time warp, and I was in a crib the years those songs were created. I keep thinking my mom played the radio next to me as an infant, hence my obsession and ability to start singing lyrics that I never knew were stored in my head!)
Anita– I just loved 8 Mile. Keep wishing Eminem would so some more acting. Also, it took place in 1995-ish. I was a senior in high school, and and all background music from the film is close to my heart. Method Man and Mary J Blige? Love it.
Melissa– thanks so much! And don’t worry, there’s still time for you to emerge from your disco inferno!!
Love this post! So true! At the beginning I wasn’t a fan. After “The Real Slim Shady” and “The Way I Am” came out I started listening. I even used a line from “The Way I Am” in a college paper about the media! On the Marshall Mathers LP there’s a song called “I’m Back”(I think) that has an awful line about what he would do to J Lo even if she was his own mother. I’m still disgusted when I think of it but intrigued at the same time. Most people don’t say aloud what creepy, horrible things they think about for fear of negative reactions. Apparently, not him. On top of that, he says these things yet we still like him! He must be laughing all the way to the bank! I think you should send this blog to him…wouldn’t it be great to stroke his ego for a little while?
Insightful as always, Mox. However, I don’t think Eminem needs me to flatter him. I’m scared he won’t like what I said and he’ll come after me LOL!
Perfect description: “The guy I know I should hate, but I like him anyway.” I too find myself drawn to Eminem’s music. Some of his lyrics are like perfect poetry, or perfectly gritty prose. Love the comparison to fictional characters. Great post.
Oh, my gosh. I was obsessed with Mr. Jones (and Anna Begins an a bunch of others on the August and Everything After album) for way too much of my time in college. Never got into Eminem, but I love your point about him being a flawed character, someone we love to hate.
Thanks, Caryn! August and Everything after is one of my very favorite albums. Can listen to the whole thing– a rarity, especially these days!
And thanks for stopping by, Natalie!